Thursday, November 15, 2007

I miss my IBM so much!!!

Cess blogged about missing IBM... I miss IBM too!!!


MY floor mates.... Trainees at the Recruitment Team


CAT "Hi this is Cat from IBM Business Servicess..."





















CESS "Hello, I'm looking for... "




















VAL Barney is looking with his oversize pants... joke..



















I miss my other OJT mates...


hehe... to be continued..

I miss my blog

It's been so long since I last visited my blog.

My New Frienster Profile



[purplefreakgirl♥]

i'm addicted to the color purple.ever since i was in grade school i've been obssesed with purple things.i was a total purple endorser.you know what i mean! yup.wearing purple clothes, accesories, school things, etc.it all started when i had a good friend whose alias is viosmile. she is addicted to the color violet.back then we belong to 6- Lila.talking about it.our grade six sections influenced us a lot.ask a knoller!

[I'm a minor no more♥]

being able to do stuffs you've never done before, legal for marriage, having suitors, having a boyfriend, being allowed to go on gimmicks, going home late without worrying about sermons, learning to be independent,and the like...but i choose not to rebel.. i'm way like 16...haha

[i love ♥ to eat]

i don't want to deprive myself just to please others.

[i'm living a clean life ♥]

i don't have any vice... i don't smoke weeds or cigars, i don't drink alcohol, i don't take drugs...but if you're into such things, i'm not saying you're living a dirty life.

[i love ♥ being a girl]

isn't it fun to be one?



CHECK THIS OUT!

[[[My Friendster add me up]]]


ME?


Anyone...

For God's best for me:


glitter-graphics.com



I believe in this bible passage:

glitter-graphics.com

Friday, July 27, 2007

What happened to Lindasy Lohan?

BIOGRAPHY


1989 An Early Start
Ford Modeling Agency signs on 3-year-old Lohan. She appears in more than 60 commercials, including spots for Pizza Hut, Wendy's and Jell-O, with Bill Cosby. She also models for Abercrombie & Fitch Kids and Calvin Klein Kids. In 1996, she lands a TV role as Alli Fowler in the soap opera Another World and plays the character for a year.

1998 Lindsay: Double-Time
July 20
Lohan plays identical twins Hallie and Annie in Disney's The Parent Trap, earning her a Young Actress Award for Best Leading Actress in a Feature Film. Director Nancy Meyers likens Lohan to a young Diane Keaton, an actress "gifted as a comedian but who doesn't know it." Lohan signs a three-movie contract with Disney. Next, she stars in Disney's Life Size with
Tyra Banks and Get a Clue.

2002 January Teen Queens Clash
Lohan dates singer Aaron Carter, prompting reports of tension between her and fellow teen queen Hilary Duff, Carter's on-and-off again girlfriend who dated him prior to Lohan. Both actresses deny any beef, with Duff telling PEOPLE in 2005: "I have nothing to say about [the spat]. I don't even know her."

September Becoming an Actress-Singer
Following her dream of becoming a singer, Lohan signs a five-album production deal with Grammy award-winning producer Emilio Estefan. Two years later, Lohan signs a recording contract with Tommy Mottola's Casablanca Records. Mottola, who was the driving force behind Mariah Carey and Jennifer Lopez's music careers, says to PEOPLE, "She is like rapid-fire – really quick, really smart."

2002 August 04 Lohan Gets Freaky
After a five-year delay, Freaky Friday with Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis is released. Lohan plays a teen who switches bodies with her mom. She also contributes to the movie soundtrack. It rakes in more than $110 million and Lohan wins the MTV Movie Award for Best Breakthrough Female.

2004 April 19 Mean Girls

The high school flick Mean Girls starring Lohan and Rachel McAdams scoops up $86 million at the box office. The film, written by 30 Rock and former SNL star Tina Fey, pushes Lohan into the spotlight and confirms her as a bankable star. PEOPLE names the stunning redhead in its 50 Most Beautiful issue.

May Lohan's 'First Love'
Lohan, 17, reveals to PEOPLE the reason why she's currently single: "It's because I'm 17 and I like 24-year-olds – and that's illegal." But, Lohan soon finds herself a dateable 24-year-old, stepping out with That '70s Show star Wilmer Valderrama. Lohan's mom, Dina, later calls Valderrama her daughter's "first love." In November, just weeks after Lohan makes a cameo appearance on Valderrama's That '70s Show, reps confirm the two have broken up. "It had to do with their careers," a friend of Valderrama's tells PEOPLE.
May 31 Blowing Up
Lohan's partying isn't the only tabloid-grabbing item; the teen star's curvier figure is also under the media's watch. Reports surface that Lohan has had breast implants. "It's retarded," says Lohan of the notion that she had plastic surgery. "I'm 17 years old. My mother would never let me." Still, the actress admits that she's flattered: "I'm glad people think I have a nice chest." When Lohan hosts Saturday Night Live for the first time that month (she hosts again in 2005 and 2006), she makes light of her suddenly large chest.
December 07 Singing Sensation
Lohan releases her first album, Speak, which goes platinum. Her single "Rumors," about a teen celebrity trying to keep her private life out of the spotlight, goes gold.
2005 April The Incredible Shrinking Actress
Lohan's noticeably thinner frame attracts press scrutiny, but she attributes her weight loss to a new workout regimen. "There's a lot of pressure [to be thin]," she tells Access Hollywood. In 2007, once her curvier figure returns, she tells Allure, "When I lost weight, everything reduced and changed. Then I gained weight again, and I was like, Wow, the breasts are really back."
May 07 Family Friction
Lohan's dad, Michael, is sentenced to a maximum of four years for a DUI and beating his brother-in-law. Five months later, Lohan releases a music video, "Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)," which addresses her parents' volatile marriage and stars her 11-year-old sister Aliana. While in prison, Michael writes an open letter to the New York Daily News and includes a cartoon depicting his troubled relationship with Lohan. "Lindsay is a talented, loving, blessed and free-spirited person," Michael writes. "I believe nothing I read about her unless I hear it from Lindsay herself. And she's always been honest with me." He is released on March 13, 2007 after serving less than two years.
November My So-Called Boyfriend
Lohan and Jared Leto, her costar in the movie Chapter 27, are spotted together at various Hollywood hot spots. But Lohan denies any relationship, telling PEOPLE, "I focus on my career, not boys." In 2007, she reiterates her stance to Allure, "I never had a relationship with Jared. Swear to God, never did. Also, I never had a relationship with Bruce Willis. We're friends."
2006 January 04 Bulimia or Bull
Lohan poses for the cover of Vanity Fair, which reports that the actress has admitted to having bulimia and taking drugs in the past. Lohan refutes these claims, but the magazine stands by its report. Two days before the article comes out, Lohan is hospitalized in Miami for an asthma attack.
May 25 Paris, Lindsay Feud Over Man

Lohan is spotted smooching Stavros Niarchos, Paris Hilton's ex-boyfriend, at New York City hot spot Butter. The two are seen together over the next few days, and Hilton makes her dislike for former friend Lohan known by giggling as pal Brandon Davis badmouths Lohan in video footage captured by TMZ.com.

July When Harry Met Lindsay
Lohan begins dating Harry Morton, owner of the restaurant chain Pink Taco and son of former Hard Rock Cafe chain owner Peter Morton. The two are inseparable, party-hopping and lounging at his Malibu pad, but after three months of dating, they take a break. A friend of Morton's tells PEOPLE that he is sick of her partying ways and that "she was too much drama."




July 26 Professional Scolding
Lohan, who was previously hospitalized for exhaustion in 2004, shutting down production of Herbie: Fully Loaded, is once again briefly hospitalized for exhaustion and dehydration, causing her to miss work on the set of Georgia Rule. The movie's producer, James G. Robinson, sends her a memo that states, "We are well aware that your partying is the real reason for your so-called exhaustion." Lohan's mother Dina calls the letter's wording "ridiculous" on Access Hollywood, but Lohan returns to the set without incident.
December 01 Alcoholics (Not So) Anonymous
Lohan's rep tells PEOPLE that the young starlet has been attending Alcoholics Anonymous. The confirmation comes a week after mom Dina answered yes when asked by E!'s Ryan Seacrest if her daughter was in AA. Both her rep and mother reaffirmed that this was a "positive" move on Lohan's behalf.

2007 January 17 Lohan Goes to Rehab
Lohan checks into rehab at Wonderland Center in L.A., halting production on the thriller I Know Who Killed Me. "I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health," Lohan says in a statement. The busy actress also backs out of an upcoming movie in order to focus on her rehabilitation. Later that month, she returns to work on the I Know set, in which she plays a stripper tortured by a serial killer.
May 10 Work & Play
The night before the premiere of her latest film, Georgia Rule, starring Oscar-nominated actress Felicity Huffman and screen legend Jane Fonda, Lohan, 20, steps out with new beau, British TV personality Calum Best, 26. That weekend, the new couple cozies up in the Bahamas and catch a Janet Jackson concert. Lohan tells PEOPLE, "He's a nice guy."

May 29 Lindsay Goes Back to Rehab
Lohan returns to rehab, spawning a PEOPLE cover story chronicling her downfall. Three days earlier, she crashed her Mercedes and was cited for driving under the influence. Police found a substance tentatively identified as "a usable amount of cocaine" in connection with the accident. Britain's News of the World recently reported that Lohan allegedly had a "marathon cocaine binge" after her first trip to rehab.

July 19 Lohan Arrested for DUI – Again
Lohan is arrested on suspicion of drunk driving in Santa Monica, Calif. The 21-year-old, who had cocaine in her possession while wearing an alcohol detection anklet, is booked for DUI, possession of cocaine, transporting a narcotic into a custody facility and driving on a suspended license. The arrest comes 11 days after she completed a 45-day rehab stint, and five days after she surrendered and was formally booked on misdemeanor charges stemming from a May car crash.



Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Lindsay Lohan. What now?



Less than two weeks out of rehab, Lindsay Lohan relapsed shortly before her arrest and is now "receiving medical care," her lawyer said Tuesday.

"Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease," attorney Blair Berk said in a statement.

Since leaving Promises rehab facility on July 13, Lohan has been wearing an electronic alcohol-monitoring bracelet on her ankle. She had it on even as she hit parties and nightclubs in Los Angeles and Las Vegas. However, police say the device did not play any role in notifying police that she was allegedly driving under the influence on Tuesday.

"Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies," says Berk. "Unfortunately, late [Monday] I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care."

The actress, 21, was booked early Tuesday morning for DUI, possession of cocaine, transporting a narcotic into a custody facility and driving on a suspended license, according to Santa Monica police spokesman Lt. Alex Padilla.

Officers smelled alcohol on Lohan's breath when they first arrived on the scene Tuesday. She refused to submit to a preliminary blood alcohol test, so she was arrested and taken to the local police station, added Padilla.

Lohan's attorney posted the $25,000 bail required to have the actress released from jail at approximately 6:30 a.m. Her arraignment was set for Aug. 24.

Reached by PEOPLE, the star's father, Michael Lohan, said he's "heartbroken" by his daughter's arrest.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

NEW YORK - Gisele Bundchen tops Forbes.com's list of the world's richest models, earning $33 million in the last 12 months


The Brazilian supermodel strutted past the likes of Kate Moss, who came in at No.2, and Heidi Klum, who placed third on the list.

Bundchen, 26, parted ways with Victoria's Secret in May and will see her lucrative contract with the lingerie brand expire at the end of the year.

Still, she boasts "more contracts than any other model on the planet," Forbes.com said, and has appeared in campaigns for high-end brands including Apple, Dolce & Gabbana and Roberto Cavalli.

Moss, who recently launched a clothing line at British fashion retailer Topshop, ranks second with $9 million. The 33-year-old fashion icon is the new face of fashion label Stella McCartney and Italian sportswear company Belstaff.

Klum, 34, placed third with $8 million. She is a Victoria's Secret spokesmodel and host of Bravo's "Project Runway."

Two more Victoria's Secret beauties — Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio — rounded out the top five with $6 million each.

They were followed by Carolyn Murphy ($5 million); Natalia Vodianova ($4.5 million); Karolina Kurkova and Daria Werbowy (both $3.5 million); Gemma Ward ($3 million); Liya Kebede ($2.5 million); Hilary Rhoda and Shalom Harlow (both $2 million); and Doutzen Kroes and Jessica Stam (both $1.5 million).

In ranking these catwalkers, Forbes.com said editors also factored in a model's "relevancy" — determined by recent campaigns, fashion magazine covers and opinions of those in the fashion industry — where necessary. The list was posted Monday on the Web site.

For a complete version visit this link.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

What's Your Sense of Humor?


Rosselle, your sense of humor is Sarcasm Oh yeah, you're really funny. (Actually you are, but you're so sarcastic that it's hard to tell when you're joking.) You mean what you say, but almost never say exactly what you mean. In fact you usually say the exact opposite. For instance, if your friend is wearing an ugly watch, you might tell them, "I wanted a watch like that once, but I got the wrong Happy Meal." Yep, there's a slight edge to your humor, but all you are really doing is telling it like it is, only like it's not.

Whether you're roasting a friend or playing social critic, your deadpan delivery and dry cynicism go a long way to expressing your true feelings...and making people laugh along the way.

http://web.tickle.com/tests/humor/?c=42667&test=humorogt

What Kind of Girlfriend am I?


Rosselle, you're a Steady Supporter Stand by your man — that's just something you naturally do. Once you've committed to a relationship, you are a constant companion who enjoys the comfort and stability that comes from being a couple. Not quick to judge, accuse, or think the worst, you have a lot of trust (in him and in yourself), and you rarely worry about where he is or who he's with.

For you, mutual respect is of utmost importance. You are comfortable and confident in your own skin, making you a great pillar of strength in all your relationships. Whether he's striving to climb a mountain or land a promotion, you have his back. Best part is, you know he's got yours too.

http://web.tickle.com/tests/girlfriend/index.jsp

OJT thingy

Basically what do I do here at IBM?

Con, the former ojt handed me over all of her works. Thank God, she wrote down some reminders for me to know everything that I am suppose to do.

Basically, I'm in charge of calling applicants for the pre-employment exam. From a bunch of resumes, I get one, screen it first,

if after graduation, work experience is beyond 18 months - considered Expro

if after graduation, work experience is below 18 months - considered Fresh Graduate

My task doesn't end there...

During the first few weeks, I call out Expros for their interviews.. I schedule them for my boss. Then at the end of the day I hand the list of the people I scheduled to my boss.

Multitasking1: I call out applicants for the pre-employment exam.

My spiel:

Rosel: Hi Good Morning! This is Rosel of IBM Business Services, I'm looking for
________.
Applicant: This is she.
Rosel: Oh! Hi _________! I would like to ask if anybody from our company has contacted you before?
Applicant: None
Rosel: So are you still interested in pursuing your application here at IBS?
Applicant: Yes..very much
Rosel: So Can I invite for the pre-employment exam tom. at 10am, are you available?
Applicant: Okay
Rosel: Do you have a pen and a paper so you can jot down the details?
Applicant: Yes
Rosel: Again, your examination is tomorrow at 10 am..Our office is located at the 7th floor 1800 bldg., eastwood city, libis. Don't forget to bring an updated copy of your resume and please look for Jenny Espinosa.Okay?
Applicant: Okay
Rosel: Do you have any questions?
Applicant: None so far
Rosel: Okay so we'll be expecting you tomorrow, okay?
Applicant: Okay
Rosel: Thank you and bye

Haha! Okay, sobrang narereverberate 'tong spiel ko. :) haha!

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

trip mode:) smile



Summer with Roxy





dwrowning? Or just enjoying the water
J-ann.paswimming ka naman!

Blogito Ergo Sum



Just happy to say that there are t-shirt for sale with the line "blogito ergo sum" meaning I blog therefore I am.

Haha...

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Lunch Time OJT Time Ha! :)


IBM is the ultimate place for me. I really enjoy my ojt here. Not just because of the free lunch during my first day at work.

Okay, talking about the free lunch, I didn't expect that there is a resto here at eastwood that is inexpensive. Frankly speaking, I thought that during my 200 hours stay here, I'll be eating Mc Donalds, Jollibee and KFC alternatley. Good thing, the old ojt's introduced me to the inexpensive resto Benissimo and the hepa lane which is along the bridge.

Okay, cafe Benissimo being inexpensive. I am not that familiar with Benissimo. I often come to Eastwood but my friends and I often stay at Jack's Loft. If I'm with the family, we stay at Something Fishy especialld during breakfast time because we often take advantage of the eat all you can breakfast which is only for 80 pesos. But now, it has increased to 89.. It's actually without drinks. Ha! I'm advertising already. Anyway, I'll bet you'll enjoy it.

Back to Benissimo okay, lunch time meal costs 54.00. Okay, don't be shocked.. Calm down... Okay Breathe in Breathe out.. In hale Exhale.. It's not a typo error.. it's absolutely for real. and oh so yes, the lunch includes a glass of iced tead... The first time I ate there, the food was tinolang manok and bicol express you can choose between the two. Guess what I chose? tinolang manok.. sarap! and it comes with patis and sili (fish sauce and red pepper) grabe.. It feels like I'm still at home.. Lutong bahay indeed! :)

So, where is it located... it's just inside eastwood.. it's for you to find out.. Hahahaha!!!:)

Next issue: The other inexpensive resto or places to eat at eastwood...

Abangan!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

OJT - 1st day

Okay... before i start it all... the over all feeling is overwhelming.

To begin with Tuesday, April 3, 2007

I received an anonymous call.... but I wasn't able to answer it. Call time:7:40PM
Could it be IBM? I assume... I saved the number and named it IBM.

Came Wednesday, April 4, 2007
I called IBM to follow up my application for OJT (On-the-job-training). What happened? I spoke to a girl and she told me that she'll check my status and call me back.

The next day
I wasn't expecting a call. Absolutely because it's Holy Thursday - and obviously it's a holiday - meaning all the offices are close. So, I told myself that I'll be waiting until next week.

Came Monday, another national holiday in the Philippines.

Came Tuesday, I decided to follow-up again. I dialled the seven digit number and I pressed O to be able to talk to the operator. I told her that I am an OJT applicant. She transferred the call.. and poof! After, a few seconds, I spoke to a girl and gave her my name and my school. She then transferred me to CJ. When I spoke to CJ, He told me that he'll check my status and call me back.

During the night at around 7PM, my phone was ringing.... tenenenten ten ten....

IBM calling...

So, the mysterious caller again... Could it be true... my assumption?

So the voice said.. He's from IBM... So he asked me several questions...
What's your course?
>I replied, BS BUSIness Ad major in E-Commerce.
So what job do you want?
>I said, OJT sir.
He said, no what department would you like?
>I said, IT sir.
He said, what do you do with your course...
>I said, I know adobe photoshop, gimp photoshop, audacity sound editor, html basics...
What else?
>Accounting subjects, BOM and other courses related to that..
He said, when can you start?
>I said, tomorrow...
So he gave me the details...

Came wednesday.. I went there and I was expecting an interview...

I entered 30 minutes earlier.... I was about to meet the very know/popular/Is he a boy or a girl Christian JOY.... So...... He went out he got my resume and after 30 minutes he asked me to follow him... in a room... very cold room... and he asked me to sign the contract... He's a girl... hehehe!

So there... to be continued...

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Butterfly Kisses



There's two things I know for sure
She was sent here from heaven, and she's Daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes
And I thank God for all of the joy in my life, oh but most of all...

For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
Walk beside the pony Daddy, it's my first ride
I know the cake looks funny Daddy, but I sure tried
Oh with all that I've done wrong, I must of done something right
To deserve a hug every morning, and butterfly kisses at night.

Sweet sixteen today
She's looking like her Mama, a little more everyday.
One part woman, the other part girl
To perfume and makeup, from ribbons and curls.
Trying her wings out in a great big world, but I remember...

Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair.
You know how much I love you Daddy, but if you don't mind
I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time.
With all that I've done wrong, I must of done something right
To deserve her love every morning, and butterfly kisses at night.

All the precious time, oh, like the wind the years go by.
Precious butterfly, spread your wings and fly.

She'll change her name today, she'll make a promise, and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bridegroom just staring at her
She asks me what I'm thinking, and I said I'm not sure.
I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl, and she leaned over...

Gave me butterfly kisses with her Mama there
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair.
Walk me down the aisle Daddy, it's just about time.
Does my wedding gown look pretty Daddy? Daddy, don't cry.
Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must of done something right.

To deserve her love every morning, and butterfly kisses,
I couldn't ask God for more, than this is what love is.
I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember...
Every hug in the morning, and butterfly kisses.

Touching...very

Daddy's Little Girl

I dedicate this to all the girls out there...



Check out this entry at J-ann's blog. I'm really sad about this.


Daddy take me with you
I promise I'll be good
Daddy, this is next time
And momma said I could.

Sitting in the front seat riding down town
An ice cream cone
I'd wrap him around my little finger
Tighter then my baby could
You can make a tear go a long long way
When you're daddy's little girl.

Well he tightened my bike chain from 7 to 13
Taught me to drive when I was a wild thing
Reached and he prayed while I made some mistakes
That I wouldn't have made if I'd have done it his way.

Now he hugs me when he sees me
We talk about the past
He tries to give me money
And I try and give it back.

He's a book of advice
More then I need
The look in his eyes is saying to me
Let me help you all I can
While I'm still in this world
What will you do when you're daddy's gone
And you're daddy's little girl.

So Sick Comparison

So Sick (Female Version)


i gotta change the station that i have
cause all i hear is you
it jus keeps reminding me
of all the thingz we used to do
and i know that i should turn
off the radio
but it's the only place i hear your voice anymore

(it'z rediculous)
it'z been months since I've spoken to u
(you aint keep in touch)
dont know why it came to this no
(but enough is enough)
no more walkin round wit ma head down
i dont wanna be a fool
cryin over you

(Chorus)
if your so sick of love songs
so tired of tears
you said you loved me
why aint you here?
im so sick of your love songs
so sad and slow
but i just cant turn off the radio

gotta fix that calendar i have
that'z marked july 16th
cause it seemz like you forgot
that waz our annaversary
when i heard your song it
made it hard to erase your memory
now when i heard ur songs i noe it's best for me
i cant believe that your

so sick of love songs
so tired of tears
you said u loved me
why aint you here?
im so sick of your love songs
so sad and slow
but i just cant turn off the radio


oOh
(now that im gone)
now that im gone
(i wanna be left alone)
Ooh
and everytime i see your smile
it'z lookin at our child
you shood noe
Ooh y cant you move on?

(Chorus)
if your so sick of love songs
so tired of tears
you said u loved me
why aint you here?
im so sick of your love songs
so sad and slow
but i just cant turn off the radio
(i just cant turn off the radio)

if your so sick of love songz (so sick of love songz)
so tired of tears (so tired of tears)
you said u loved me
why aint you here (yeaaaah) (y aint you here???)
im so sick of your love songz
so sad and slo (oo oh)
but i just cant turn off the radio
(i just cant turn off the radio)

(Chorus)
if your so sick of love songz
so tired of tears
you said u loved me
why aint you here?
im so sick of your love songz
so sad and slow
but i just cant turn off the radio
(i jus cant turn off the radio)
i just cant turn off the radio

---------------------------------------------

Neyo

Mmmm mmm yeah
Do do do do do do do-do
Ohh Yeah

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
Cuz right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cuz you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore
(it's ridiculous)
It's been months
And for some reason I just
(can't get over us)
And I'm stronger then this
(enough is enough)
No more walkin round
With my head down
I'm so over being blue
Cryin over you

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

Gotta fix that calender I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be

That's the reason I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

(Leave me alone)
Leave me alone
(Stupid love songs)
Dont make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
I'm letting go
Turning off the radio

Cuz I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)

Said I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishin you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
Why can't I turn off the radio?
(why can't I turn off the radio?)
Why can't I turn off the radio?

Monday, March 12, 2007

Closer and Closer Look: Smaller and smaller Circles by: F.H. Batacan

Smaller and Smaller Circles. My first impression with the title was that this is something like those Bob Ong’s which uses very plain language. Or if not, it’s just like the usual Mga Ibong Mandaragit or Florante at Laura and the like. The reason behind these impressions was that back in high school, I was exposed to those kinds of Philippine literature. Nevertheless, my guesses were all wrong.

Smaller and Smaller Circles. Wasn’t like the normal “laughter therapy” or comedic novels by Bob Ong which may be used by high school students for their book report (even grade school). I came to realize that now I’m in College, book reports are in a different level – more matured and realistic. But on the other hand, it’s not also like the typical/normal Philippine literature with very deep language. Smaller and Smaller Circles is very easy to comprehend and the ideas are flowing in a good manner.

The question, “Is it realistic or fantastic?” struck me for a moment. I know in my heart the definition of a fantastic and a realistic. But at the start of the novel, I was thinking twice. I even looked up the definition of the two words. But as I ponder, it echoes in my mind. It’s a realistic novel. It’s a realistic novel. It’s a realist.

It can happen in reality. It’s even happening now. Serial killers are on the streets. The Payatas area – the mountain of garbage, the smell of the dump, Riverside, Litex, the junction along Tandang Sora and Commonwealth across Old Balara, and the Jesuit’s house. The setting seems so vivid. It seems so clear for me because I live by Old Balara. That is why the idea that it is a realist novel seems to echo and seems to be very clear.

I am asking myself if it’s fantastic. Is there psychic automism? Is there something out of this world? Is it something of magic, of vampire slayers, of lost souls? No. There is nothing magical. It even points out the psychological reason behind the killings of the serial killer.

Smaller and Smaller Circles. Realist. Now what comes next? What specific literary genre does it fall under? The whole story revolves around the killings, the killer and the mystery solvers.
The novel depicts the Filipino police doesn’t acknowledge the killings to be done by a serial killer. But the two priests, Fr. Gus Saenz, a known forensics anthropologist and Fr. Jerome Lucero, a clinical psychologist, strongly believes that the killings are all done in a sort of sequential and organized manner. Every first Saturday of the month, victims, being children between twelve to fourteen, of small size, are seen face scraped off, genitals mutilated and heart extracted.
At first, you may think that it’s a sort of a ritual done by some cult or it’s something done by the “aswang” or “mananangal”. A vampire in the Payatas area? Fantastic, I say.

But this novel is not fantastic as I say. It even echoes in my mind that it’s a realist. So, who in the right and humanly mind would dare to do such thing? This made me conclude that this novel is a mystery. So here comes a very refreshing type of Filipino novel – sort of like CSI.
So, the two Jesuit priests being exposed in “real” criminal situations, happen to conclude that there is a serial killer. The format of the story goes like this: First, the body is found hours after the killing. Then the police and forensic experts are trying to investigate and search the crime scene. Then the two priests analyzing the situation with the help of Joanna, a reporter and some laboratory professionals, medical people and government officials who have access over confidential records. Next is having a suspect as well as studying him, knowing his background as well as knowing if he has a “hidden” traumatic childhood which would cause him to do such morbid act. Next is attesting to the findings that the suspect is really the murderer. Followed by a search to catch the murderer. Then like the usual detective type of movie, police and people in charge having a hard time to catch the suspect, and ending up to the death of the suspect itself.

As aforementioned, the two priests made a study about the suspect who is Alex Carlos and they found out that there is a reason behind the killings. Alex is a dentist in the mobile clinic which goes to Payatas to perform medical and dental services to the poor. He uses the circumstance to perform his revenge. His anger can be traced back in high school. Father Gus and Father Saenz found out that he was once a student of the Payatas high. Being lean and sickly due to some sort of poverty, he had very low grades in PE. So his PE teacher would often ask him to stay a while for some further things to do.The PE teacher took advantage and may be because he was gay, he abused Alex. So, knowing the fact that he was molested, the PE teacher made him the “favorite”. Being not able to tell his parents about this and being not able to tell anyone at all, he grew up having psychological incapabilities. As a way of revenge, he killed the teacher. But he is still not satisfied. He decides to kill kids and his out to kill seven. Why seven? Because when the molestation was happening, there are around eight of them and he being the special one. He didn’t want to be the special one. He just wanted to be normal – like the other seven. He felt that he is being looked at – the center of abuse. He does the killing in some sort of a ritual - face scraped off, genital mutilated and heart extracted. In this case, he does this to remove the identity of the person much like what happened to him.

Reading the book attests to the fact that F.H. Batacan is really good at writing. From the very idea of diverting from the usual and making the usual extraordinary, I applaud her for that. Next is the use of French, Italian and I think even German. She may have known several languages and this technique created more impact on the characters.

Smaller and Smaller Circles. Realistic. Detective Suspense.

The most dominant element in the novel as it is screaming from cover to cover is the conflict, man versus man. The whole story revolves around the conflict, who is the killer?
The story started seeing a dead kid in the dump and Forensic anthropologists investigating. The whole story revolves in identifying the “mystery” killer. Characters sprung from the main conquest. Police officers in the crime scene. Ben Arcinas and his fellow NBI agents investigating. Joanna and Leo being a team up of reporter and cameraman waiting for news to cover. The two priests unraveling the whole gist of the story. Finally, knowing that it was Alex Santos and the climax was during the capture at the mobile wherein Father Saenz was even injured. In the end, I thought Father Saenz was killed but the craft of the story was great that it was Carlos who got killed. That was what I’ve wanted. The way it was narrated in the second to the last chapter, it seems that Fr. Saenz was the one killed. That is also a typical story which ends up beating evil and the bad people dying or asking for forgiveness.

At first I cannot understand the point of the italicized fonts (phrases sort of a dialogue) at certain last page of certain chapters. But as the story is coming to an end, I came to realize that it was Alex Carlos speaking. It was like the real gist, smaller and smaller circles.

The monologues leads me to say that there is another conflict revolving which is man versus himself. Because he is no longer in his proper mind, some sort of psychological incapabilities or nervous breakdown. The italicized part or what I call the monologue, is some sort of a diary. The author is trying to let the readers know the feelings of Alex which I only happen to realize by the end of the novel. (slow..me) So I tried to recall the monologue parts and I even read again those parts so I can fully comprehend the whole story. After which, I finally concluded that there is indeed a man versus himself conflict.

I thought of some possible themes of the story. Actually to tell you frankly, I sort of have some difficulties trying to know this part. I even listed down several possible themes:
Childhood of a person can make a big impact on him

  • There is truth about serial killers

  • Behind every murder is anger

  • The difficulty of solving crimes

  • Solving crimes

  • Serial killings

Smaller and Smaller Circles. Realistic. Detective – Suspense. Serial

Killings. I’ve read Nancy Drew when I was in grade school. I even got hitched to it. It has certain similarities. But this novel is more direct to the point. The novel flows to the direction of capturing the murderer. Walang paikotikot. Its main goal is to unravel the person behind the killings and get him caught by the police.

The novel attests to the fact that the childhood of the person highly affects his or her whole entirety. I’ve been dwelling with this idea since years ago. I am a part of a Church Charismatic group na I deal with the youth. As matter of fact, I am a youth leader. I often have a hard time with the people under me ---problems about relationships and vices. But as I realized that “who they are” is an effect of their background, their childhood, how they were treated as kids, Pakikisama was no longer hard for me.

Just a short background: The youth are from poor to middle class level.
I was an only child for eight long years. Being a brat, mingling with other people, adjusting to situations and adapting to other’s way of lives is very hard for me.

My goal in life is to serve God put him on top of my priorities. But also put in mind to be well balanced. I wanted to be well rounded. I want to have my own career. My second goal is to finish my studies and be successful in the corporate world.

The reasons behind my goals were my past experiences.

As aforementioned, I was a sole daughter for eight years. During that time, I used to have everything I’ve wanted. I was treated as a princess. A spoiled brat, as what everybody called me. I was a naughty, fat little girl.

But my being a brat princess came to an end when I had siblings already. My parents’ attention was diverted to them. But I didn’t take it negatively. Instead, I also diverted my attention to my friends, my hobbies and serving in the church.

Back when I was eleven, I wasn’t fully aware of the bankruptcy that was happening with my father’s business.

In 2000, the bank foreclosed our family house. During this time, all our properties are turning to dust. Came 2004, the only property left was also foreclosed by the bank. By now, we are living at my grandma’s old house. A year ago, it was really devastating. It had no ceiling and the paints of the wall were as old as me. But last summer, my dad’s business was kind flourishing again and we had the chance to renovate the house.

All these things are my driving force to be who and what I am right now. All my past experiences are my weapons in fighting life’s challenges. My weaknesses are not hindrances rather; I use them as inspiration for my betterment. I work on to be the best that I can be.
As a student, I work on to improve my grades. I have five in most of my major subjects. I have to work on with my minors. Nevertheless, I want to be a dean’s lister.

As a woman, I grew up being loved so much that is why even though I was influenced by my peers to have boyfriends, I know my limitations. I believe that sex is only to be given to my future partner. Thus, as a woman this is my main goal. This goal dictates my actions in life.
Being active in the church, I want to be a good example to others that is why in my action, I consider other people. This doesn’t mean that I don’t take risk. I often risk and I know that my service to Jesus is one great risk I did.

As a Filipino, my goal is to be a good citizen and I want to do something that will make my country proud of me.

My story is parallel with Smaller and Smaller Circles. The things that happened to Alex when he was a child became his driving force for revenge. In my case, I am not after revenge, I am after my betterment.

The character which I like best is Joanna. She is a reporter. When I came into Miriam, my first course was Communication Arts. Before I dreamt of being the next Korina Sanchez and being the Anchor of the most popular evening news. But I shifted to Business Ad last 2005. I like Joanna’s style of not being the typical reporter who makes ambush reports. I admire her quest for substantial news. I also admire her courage. Knowing that her dad died covering a news report, if I were in her shoes, I would be having a trauma. I may not engage in the field which caused the death of my dad. Bu in her case, she took the risk of being a reporter. I also admire her quest for the truth. She even helped the Jesuits to unravel the truth.

I believe that Joanna is an empowered woman. She is the epitome of courage. In the real world, it’s scary and we have to take risk and be strong enough to fight the scary reality.
The novel Smaller and smaller Circles, really changed my view of Philippine literature. As I was saying, this is a refreshing one. A change from the usual melodramatic themes which covers poverty and extreme political manipulations in our current system. I didn’t know that Filipinos could write a detective type of novel which includes Jesuits. Something like Da Vinci’s code. But this one, empowering Catholic priests. I am not being biased, but I really liked the story.
The last book that I’ve read was Dave Pelzer’s, The child called It. Actually I have not yet finished the book. I am still on the process of reading it. But the real book which I last finished was Sophie kinsella’s Confessions of Shopaholic.

I really like Sophie Kinsella’s way of writing because she uses the first person point of view. I sort of relate to her characters because I am a Business Administration student. Kinsella gives a little background about finance and the corporate world.

There are a lot of differences between Confessions of a shopaholic and Smaller and Smaller Circles. Aside from the fact that the former is European and the latter is Filipino. They are both realistic but in different genres. Kinsella’s work is more on the light and love story genre rolled into one. Batacan’s work is more of a detective type. But I both liked the plot.

Why I like Smaller and Smaller Circles: First it’s more close to my heart since it’s done by my fellow Filipino. Second, the setting is very familiar to me. Third, I sort of had a connection with the book. Fourth, the words are easy to read. Fifth, the speaking tone was in vernacular language just translated to English. Sixth, it was able to show a little bit of reality - the life of the people in the Payatas area. Last, the novel is very Filipino. Indeed, Filipino writers are to be saluted.